


The quiet that hides the storm

by Robyn001



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friendship/Love, Mention of Death, Older Man/Younger Woman, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robyn001/pseuds/Robyn001
Summary: Y/N is running from some infected. She's injured and her chances to make it are running low.Eventually, she arrives at Jackson where Tommy and Maria invite her to stay with them. One day, she's out on patrol with Tommy's brother, Joel and from there the two develop a relationship that is meant to go beyond mere friendship.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Joel & Tommy (The Last of Us), Joel/Reader, Maria/Tommy (The Last of Us), other - Relationship
Kudos: 18





	1. running for her life

**Author's Note:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.   
> Hope you like it!

Y/N was running.   
She was running as fast as she could, but the fresh snow, still falling from the dark sky above her head, wasn’t helping her a bit.   
Her feet kept sinking into the white, fluffy ground making every step difficult and heavy, and her side stunk for the deep cut she had on it.   
Y/N knew it had opened again for all the running and jumping and surviving; she could feel the blood pouring out of it and drench her clothes underneath the heavy jacket.   
But right at that moment, it was the last of her problems.   
Y/N had just run away from a horde of infected, but some of them were still on her and she had no bullets left.   
The only thing she had got was run, run for her life.   
While she was running up a hill, her eyes fell on a building a little bit further. Y/N quickly headed to it, hearing the sounds of the infected closer and closer behind her.   
She threw herself towards the door, springing it wide open before she closed it and just in time pushed a cabinet over it to block it.   
A sudden bang from the infected outside made her jump and she instantly ran out of the room, closing another door behind her.   
Y/N looked at the dark, greenish door she had just closed while stepping back with a hand over her wounded side.   
She moaned in pain and bent over her knees, trying to catch her breath as she felt the cool sweat rolling down her forehead.   
Then she straightened up and looked around realizing she got herself in what seemed to be an old hardware store.   
She started to look around for some supplies but found nothing useful.   
Y/N checked the bathroom on her right and behind the counter.   
She was just looking inside a drawer when she heard a loud bang coming from the other room and she knew the infected had entered the building.   
Y/N ran through the door behind the counter where she found a window upon her left. She quickly climbed the shelf that was below it and got out just before a runner clawed her.   
Y/N fell on the fluffy snow and quickly got up, starting to run towards a cliff from where she jumped without hesitation.   
She could hear the infected behind her back: their shouts and growls and every time she heard the click of their throat, goosebumps raise on her neck making her shiver.   
Y/N arrived at the bottom of a small cliff and looking around she saw no way to get out of there.   
<< Fuck! >> she shouted feeling her heartbeat speed even more.   
A series of thuds made her turned and she saw a couple of runners running towards her.   
She ducked under a runner’s arm when it tried to hit her and then she pushed it away running towards she lowest part of the cliff where she grabbed the root of a tree and pulled herself up with all her strength.   
As Y/N was about to get up, she felt her leg being pulled and turning her head she saw a clicker just under her.   
Y/N pulled her leg from its claws and kicked back as hard as she could making the clicker fall back, then she climbed the rest of the cliff and got on her feet.   
<< Okay >> she said before she started to run again.   
Now the cut on her side was stinking more and she could smell her own blood in the air. But she couldn’t stop, not now. Not after all she had been through these past twenty years.   
She wouldn’t have died there.   
Y/N saw another small building and this time seemed to be a house.   
A couple of runners that had managed to climb the cliff, were still chasing her so she headed to the only window she could see and broke it with her elbow before she climbed inside the house.   
Y/N ran through the rooms and down a stair finding herself in the garage.   
The garage door was half-opened and without thinking, Y/N crawled below it, hearing the runners climbing down the stairs   
She pushed herself up and then pushed the garage door down that fell with a loud shrill over of the runner, who had started to crawl under it, cutting its arms off.   
<< You deserved it, son of a bitch >> Y/N said to herself as one of her hands reached her side.   
She felt her head heavy and fuzzy and her sight was beginning to blur, but she quickly shook her head and forced herself to concentrate.   
She walked away from that house from which she could still hear the growls and wailing of the infected, with the only hope that she would have found a place where to rest a little bit.   
Y/N didn’t know for how long she walked, and she surely didn’t know where she was heading.   
But then her eyes caught a light in the distance and without hesitation, she followed it until the single light become a beam of lights at the top of a high, grey gate.   
<< Who are you? >> yelled a man, but Y/N couldn’t see him with all that light pointed at her face.   
She tried, however, to answer the man, but her mouth was dry and her voice was dead in her throat.   
<< Identify yourself >> yelled again the man.   
Y/N looked up and squinted her eyes before her legs gave up under her weight and she fell on the ground.  
Her sighed blurred, her head spun and all of sudden she felt her body hit the cold ground underneath her.   
She felt so tired she just wanted to sleep there, on that white, fluffy sheet of snow.   
<< It’s a woman! >> yelled the man.   
<< She seems injured >> yelled another man closer to Y/N.   
She tried to open her mouth to beg them to help her, but her body didn’t respond to her commands.   
Her eyelids were heavier now and her strength to keep them opened was running short, so in the end, she gave in and let her body rest. 

Y/N was awake, but she didn’t know that.   
The only thing she could see was pitch black. She could hear nothing, taste nothing, and feel nothing, even her own body.   
She felt like she was floating in the dark and for a moment she asked herself if death was like that. But then, like a rock that hits the ground, she felt her body on a warm, fluffy surface. She had covers on her and something was attached to her pointing finger.   
She moved her eyes under her eyelids, trying to open her eyes, but for some reason, she couldn’t.   
Y/N was awake but couldn’t move.   
The first thing she heard was a short, high-pitched beep that repeated itself every two seconds. Then she caught the dripping of water from the sink in the room.   
She tried again to open her eyes and this time she did, and the first thing she saw was the light-grey color of the ceiling.   
Y/N was alive.   
She moved her eyes around the room. There were counters all around the wall in front of her and at her left. On them, there were different medical devices and medicines, and the dripping sink.   
She was on a hospital bed and three more were at her right.   
It wasn’t a common hospital room, but it reminded Y/N of one.   
She moved a little to straight her back on the cushions behind her and then looked at the thing attached to her finger which tube connected with a sack full of clear liquid.   
Was in that moment that she heard the door open and turning her head she saw a man, with red hair and a white coat entering the room with some papers in his hands.   
The man looked up and once he noticed her, he lowered the papers and faintly smiled at her.   
<< You’re awake. Good >> he said walking closer to Y/N.   
The man put out a small flashlight and pointed it at Y/N’s eyes.  
<< How are you feeling? >> asked the man while checking her pupils.   
Y/N squinted her eyes, resisting the urge to close them at the invasion of the light.   
<< My head is spinning a little >> she answered.   
<< That’s normal. You lost a lot of blood. A good meal and rest will help >> said the man controlling the sack near Y/N.  
He tapped on it a couple of times and then reached the sink where he washed his hands.   
<< Where am I? >> she asked looking at the man’s back while he walked towards a cabinet and took some pills.   
<< Jackson. Now take these >> he said giving Y/N two red and white pills and a glass of water.  
She stared at them for a moment and then looked up at the man.   
<< What are they? >> she asked.   
The man smiled at her.   
<< Vitamins >> he answered.  
Y/N took the pills and then the glass of water, swallowing them quickly.   
The door opened suddenly, revealing a man with rather long and brunette hair, small and clear eyes and a jeans jacket, and a woman with short, blonde hair and bulging eyes.   
They looked right at Y/N and then walked towards her bed.   
<< How are you feeling? >> asked the man who was standing near her while the woman was looking at her from the end of the bad, arms crossed over her chest.   
<< Good >> Y/N answered looking at her hands.   
<< How did you get here? >> asked the woman.   
Her tone was demanding and harsh.   
Y/N raised her eyes on her and swallow.   
<< I was running from a group of infected >> she answered.   
The woman looked over at the man who sighed, putting his hands on the side of the bed.   
Y/N looked at him, tensing up for the proximity of the unknown.   
<< How many of them? >> asked the man.  
Y/N shrugged and looked down trying to remember how many infected were chasing her.   
<< A couple of dozen >> she said in the end.   
<< Where did you saw them? >> asked again the woman stepping ahead and reaching the high of her knees.   
Y/N tensed up a little for the sudden woman’s movement.   
<< Err…north-west from here, I believe >> she answered a little bit insecure.   
The woman nodded at the man near Y/N and he turned his head at her and smiled.   
<< I’m Tommy, she’s Maria. She’s the one who runs things here >> he said.   
Y/N nodded.   
<< Thank you for helping me >> she replied looking at Maria who nodded at her.   
<< What’s your name? >> asked the man called Tommy.   
<< I’m Y/N >> she answered.  
Maria reached the doctor near the counters who was once again checking the papers he had in his hands.   
<< What’s the prognosis, doc? >> she asked.   
The man looked at the woman and then at Y/N.   
<< Food and sleep. A lot of both >> answered the man making the woman smile.   
<< What you say if you have dinner at our place tonight? >> asked Maria while reaching her side.   
Y/N tensed up at her words and sunk a little back against the cushions.   
<< I don’t want to be a bother. I can eat here and get out of the way as soon as possible >> she replied.   
<< Not a bother at all >> said Tommy putting a hand on her shoulder.   
It was warm and heavy.   
Y/N looked at him with wide eyes and then looked at the woman again.   
<< It’s settled then. I’ll pass by later. Doc will give you some new clothes >> said the woman walking towards the door.   
Tommy smiled at her once again before he followed the woman out of the room, closing the door.   
Y/N looked at the doctor who was still reading the papers.   
She sighed and rubbed her eyes feeling her heart swollen with anxiousness.

Y/N was so tired she had fallen asleep once more.   
Only when the doctor gently stroked her by her shoulder, she realized she was sleeping again.   
<< Sorry for waking you, but Maria will be here soon. I left your clothes on the bed. Feel free to get out once you’re done >> said the man before he got out of the room.   
Y/N looked at him and then touched her forehead, feeling her head heavy and aching.   
She slowly sat up noticing she wasn’t connected to that tube anymore and that she had a strange large t-shirt on.   
Y/N got up feeling her legs like jelly and once she was sure they were steady enough, she took off the t-shirt and left it on the bed.   
Her bra was still on like her slip, but the upper half of her torso was wrapped in bandages and a little bump of cotton was visible underneath them.   
She sighed and moved to wear the clothes they gave her.   
There was a black, long-sleeved, t-shirt, a pair of jeans and a wool jacket. At the bottom of the bed, there were her shoes that she wore quickly when she heard the door open.   
<< Are you ready? >> asked Maria.   
<< Yes >> answered Y/N and looking at her she noticed the woman had her jacket in her hands.   
Maria followed her eyes and once Y/N reached her she stretched the jacket towards her.   
<< Here. We need to walk a little to reach the house >> she said.   
Y/N took it and wore it before she followed the woman outside the building.   
Jackson was much bigger than Y/N thought, and it reminded her of a country town in winter.   
As she walked through the streets full of people, she tried to ignore their curious looks and instead focused on the few stores she saw while passing by them.   
Then suddenly, a short black figure stepped in front of her, and looking down Y/M met eyes with a big black dog who was panting with its tongue out of its mouth while staring at her.   
<< Hey you >> Y/M said patting the dog’s head.   
<< Y/N >> called Maria and raising her eyes on her, Y/N stepped back and waved at the dog before she reached the woman.   
After a couple of minutes, they reached a big, two-story, white house.   
Y/N followed Maria at the porch where they waited for Tommy to open the door.   
<< Here you are >> he said opening the door wide to let them enter the house.   
Y/N smelled woodsmoke, pine, and food.   
Good food.   
Her stomach began to grumble, and she put a hand on it, hoping no one had heard.   
Fortunately for her, Maria was busy talking with Tommy about a problem at one of the outposts.   
Y/N looked around while standing near the door, with her hands joined together at her front.   
The house was simple, the furniture was limited, and some things were a little ruined by the time and lack of maintenance.   
However, Y/N thought the place was quite welcoming.   
She felt a little tap on her shoulder and turning around she met eyes with Tommy who smiled at her and with a gesture of his head, invited her to follow him.   
<< I want you to meet a couple of people >> he said as they crossed the room and entered another where there was a big table at the center, surrounded by eight chairs.   
The table was already set and on two of the chairs, there was a man, who resembled a little of Tommy and a little girl, maybe on her thirteen, fourteen who was talking with him.   
The man was lovingly looking at the girl, with a faint smile on his face, and his arms crossed on his chest.   
The girl looked over the man’s shoulder and instantly stopped talking when she noticed Y/N, who looked at her and smiled.   
The man followed her gaze turning his head and fixing his eyes on Y/N who moved her eyes and stared at her feet embarrassed.   
<< This is my brother, Joel and she’s Ellie >> said Tommy pushing Y/N gently by her shoulder.   
Y/N looked again at the man, now in front of her, and with his right hand stretched.   
<< Nice to meet you >> said the man in a low, calm voice.   
Y/N quickly shook his hand, that was considerably bigger than hers and then retreated it as if she had burnt herself.   
<< Y/N >> she lowly presented herself.   
The man frowned a little, still examinating the young woman in front of him who had moved her eyes away.   
He looked over at Ellie who shrugged and then, pushed him a little so she could reach Y/N and present herself in turn.   
<< I’m Ellie >> she said waving a hand at her and smiling.   
Y/N returned the smile.   
Maria invited all of them to take a sit.   
The blonde woman sat at the head of the table, Tommy was seated at her left while Joel and Ellie at her right.   
Y/N took the sit near Tommy, so she had Ellie in front of her who continued to study her while Y/N pretended not to notice her.   
They all started to eat. There was meat with tomato sauce, mashed potatoes, and different types of boiled vegetables.   
Y/N took a little of everything as Tommy continued to offer her different dishes and she was too shy and hungry to decline.   
She ate while listening to the others talking about what seemed to be their routine that was all about Jackson and its surroundings.   
<< So, you like it? >> asked Tommy on her left as she swallowed a piece of meat.   
Y/N raised her eyes briefly, noticing that now everyone was looking at her.   
God, she wanted to sink in the ground.   
<< Yeah, it’s pretty good. I haven’t eaten real food since the outbreak. Thank you for inviting me, by the way >> she answered, looking directly at Maria for the last sentence.   
The woman made a gesture with her head to welcome her before she took a sip from his glass.   
<< As I said, no problem >> answered Tommy and Y/N faintly smiled at him before she stared at her plate.   
<< Where are you heading? >> asked Maria putting her elbows on the table.   
<< Nowhere in particular. Just wandering from a state to another >> answered Y/N shrugging.   
<< You don’t have a group? >> asked Tommy frowning.   
Y/N looked at him and huffed.   
<< Not really >> she answered.   
Y/N noticed the glance Tommy gave Joel before the latter moved her eyes on her making Y/N’s heart jump in her chest.   
He had really piercing eyes.   
<< How so? >> asked again Tommy looking straight at Y/N.   
<< Not a reason >> Y/N shrugged again, playing with some peas on her plate.   
<< You can stay here >> said suddenly Ellie catching their attention.   
Y/N looked over at Maria who thought about it for a moment before she nodded.   
<< It’s not a bad idea. Better than wandering alone out there >> said the woman looking at Y/N.   
<< I don’t… >> she started, but Tommy interrupted her straight away.   
<< Don’t want to be a bother >> he finished her sentence smiling at her.   
Y/N lowered her gaze on her hands that strangely began to tremble.   
<< So, what you say? >> asked Maria.   
Y/N looked at her and after a moment of thought, she answered.   
<< Okay >> she said nodding.   
Tommy and Ellie smiled at her.   
<< Good. Tomorrow we’ll find a place where you can stay >> said Maria before she continued to eat.   
Y/N looked at them, noticing that Joel was staring at her and when her eyes met his, he quickly moved his gaze away.   
She felt her cheeks heat up as she quickly looked down at her plate, still half-full of food. But suddenly her hunger had faded away and the only thing she wanted to do was running out of the door.   
It was strange. She should’ve felt a sort of reassurance knowing she had found a place where to stay, without worrying about the infected trying to kill her and the supplies to find to keep her alive. A place where she could live and not survive for once.   
Yet, she felt her heart racing faster and her hands started to sweat as a million questions filled her brain up to the brim.


	2. out on patrol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.  
> Hope you like it!

A month had passed since Y/N arrived at Jackson.  
Maria had put her in a small hut near the cemetery. It was a small, intimate place that Y/N loved straight away. On the right there was a bed, a desk, and a long and narrow library; one the left there was the bathroom, a couch and in front of it a coffee table and a tv.  
In the past few weeks, Y/N had been working in the town since Maria didn’t want her to go out before she had gained back her energies. So, she helped a little here and there, wherever she was needed.  
Tommy had asked her if she had any preference, but for Y/N the only thing that mattered was to be helpful so she could repay their kindness.  
Jackson folks were kind and available all the time, even if Y/N always felt a little embarrassed to talk with them about things that weren't work.  
That day she had to clean the stables, so after she wore her jacket and boots, she got out of her hut and headed to them.  
The snow was slowly melting, and, in a few weeks, it would have disappeared and with it the winter itself, leaving the place to Y/N’s beloved spring.  
Once she got to the stables, she was greeted by Brody, the person in charge of the stables.  
<< Hi, Brody >> waved back Y/N, taking off her cap.  
Brody was a big man. Like big. He was more or less on his sixty, he had a white, thick, and long beard that compensate for his lack of hair that he covered with a red cap.  
He always wore a green leather, apron above his clothes that he almost couldn’t tie behind his back due to the prominent belly he got.  
And he was tall, so tall Y/N arrived just a little higher than his elbow.  
But he was as kind as big and he had a weakness for Y/N.  
<< Ready for today? >> asked the man looking at her.  
Y/N nodded and then followed the man to the first stable, already freed from the horse that was in it.  
<< You can start from here. Call me whenever you need >> said the man smiling at Y/N who returned the smile.  
<< Okay >> she answered before putting herself to work.  
She spent the entire morning cleaning the stables and only stopped for eating a sandwich that Seth had prepared her.  
Y/N had almost finished eating when she heard Brody talk with someone with a familiar voice, so she walked out of the stable, seeing the big man talk to Tommy.  
<< I didn’t see George this morning. I thought he was on patrol >> said Brody with his arms crossed on his broad chest.  
<< He got pretty sick and we need to find another person to go on patrol, but it seems no one is willing to out with this weather >> answered Tommy while petting one of the horses.  
<< How you can blame them? It’s been a bad winter >> replied Brody.  
<< I know, but we need supplies and more important, we need to keep the infected out of the area if we don’t want a horde at our door >> answered Tommy.  
Y/N looked at them, thinking if it was a good idea to propose herself. She did want to help them in any way possible and if she had to be completely honest with herself, she needed to get out of the town for a while. Even if it was just for a couple of hours.  
So, she walked towards the two men, rubbing her cold hands together to warm up a little.  
<< I could go >> she said catching the two men’s attention.  
<< You? Who would help me with the stable if you go? >> whined Brody.  
<< I believe people are more willing to take care of the horses than go out, as Tommy said. And I’m willing to go >> said Y/N kindly, smiling at the big man.  
<< Are you sure? You’ve been recovering >> said Tommy putting a hand on her shoulder.  
<< I’m good now. Doc says it as well >> replied Y/N, looking into Tommy’s eyes to prove she was secure of her choice.  
Tommy nodded at her and glanced at Brody who was bagging him not to consider the girl’s offer.  
<< Okay. I’ll talk about it with Maria and see what she says >> he said at the end.  
<< Alright >> nodded Y/N. 

Y/N was seated on her couch, reading a book of some sort, but her mind was focused elsewhere.  
For the rest of the day, she hadn’t heard of Tommy and she had started to think that Maria had rejected her offer.  
There was a low knock at the door, so low that Y/N almost thought she had imagined it. However, she slid off the couch, leaving the book on the coffee table in front of it and reached the door.  
Once she slightly opened it, her eyes widened at the sight of the man behind it.  
<< Hey >> greeted the man.  
It was Joel.  
Y/N hadn’t talked to him since that dinner the day she arrived at Jackson. She, however, had seen the man around the town, most of the time with Ellie.  
She didn’t open the door even more, nor asked the man if he wanted to enter, she just stared at him feeling her cheeks warm up once again at his presence.  
Why he had this strange effect on her? Y/N asked more than once to herself.  
<< Hi >> she managed to reply.  
Joel frowned as his eyes vaguely looked at her.  
<< Maria told me about you wanting to go out on patrol. She accepted it, but at one condition >> he said leaning against the doorjamb.  
<< That is? >> asked Y/N quietly.  
<< You’ll come with me tomorrow. I’ll show you how things work here >> answered the man.  
Y/N’s heart jumped in her chest and she had to swallow before answering.  
<< Okay >> she nodded looking down at her feet.  
Joel looked at her, tilting his head.  
<< Go to bed. We need to be ready at six in the morning. I do not like latecomers >> he said with a slight threat in his voice.  
<< Understood >> nodded Y/N looking up at him.  
<< My place's on the other side of the cemetery. Once you cross it, turn right. You can’t miss it >> explained Joel and Y/N nodded again.  
<< Okay >> she replied.  
Joel frowned once again before he shook his head and walked away.  
He heard the door closing right after he took a couple of steps and turning around, he looked at the small hut which light went off a couple of seconds after.  
He smiled amused and headed to his house. 

At half-past five, Y/N was already up. She quickly brushed her teeth, tied her hair in a braid, and put some warm clothes on. Her backpack was ready with all the things she would have needed and once she put her boots on, she went out.  
She crossed the cemetery and once she passed the gate, she turned right just as Joel had told her, and walked to the first, big house she saw.  
She waited at the bottom of the stairs that led to the porch, shifting from one foot to another, trying to warm up a little.  
Then she heard the door opened and saw Joel coming out. The man stopped right after he saw her and stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face.  
Y/N looked at him as he climbed down the stairs.  
<< Didn’t think you would be ready yet >> he said reaching her.  
<< You said to be ready at six >> replied Y/N frowning.  
Joel sighed, looking around while putting on his gloves.  
<< Yeah, I did. Have you had breakfast yet? >> he asked looking at Y/N.  
<< Not yet >> she answered.  
<< Okay then. Let’s take something before we go >> said Joel leading the way.  
Y/N followed the man across the town, looking around at the deserted street that slowly started to get crowed as the sky became clearer and clearer.  
Once they reached the bar, Joel opened the door and looked at Y/N to let her pass, but she shook her head.  
<< I’ll wait here >> she said rubbing her hands.  
<< It’s cold outside >> said the man frowning at her.  
Y/N shrugged before she turned on her feet and walked to the other side of the street, where she leaned against a pole.  
Joel looked at her, then he sighed and entered.  
Y/N didn’t wait much before Joel got out, putting two sandwiches in his backpack. Then he looked over at Y/N who moved away from the pole and reached him.  
<< Why didn’t you get inside? >> he asked looking at her.  
Y/N raised her brows at his question, not knowing what answer.  
<< I didn’t wait much, anyway >> she eventually said, starting to walk towards the stables.  
Joel looked at her back before he sighed and followed her.  
<< Hi Brody >> greeted Y/N once she entered the stables.  
<< Hi Y/N. Are you ready? >>  
<< I believe. Who am I getting? >> she asked patting a horse on the side.  
<< Scout of course. He’s already saddled. Joel >> greeted the big man.  
<< Morning Brody >> replied Joel passing near Y/N.  
The three of them reached the horses that were already in front of the gate.  
Y/N reached Scout, a horse with brown pecan mantle and black mane. She petted him for a moment before she got on him and fixed her feet in the stirrups.  
She looked over at Joel finding him talking to Tommy. When they finished, Tommy waved at her and Y/N returned the gesture smiling at the man.  
Joel looked at Y/N before he yelled at a man to open the gate. The man did instantly as he was told and before they got out, Joel reached Y/N’s side.  
<< Stay close >> he said with that sheer threat in his voice.  
Y/N nodded, moving her eyes away and on the gate that was slowly opening.  
Joel spurred his horse and Y/N followed right after him.  
The first outpost they had to get at was only twenty minutes from the town. Y/N followed Joel closely, looking around trying to remember if she had passed through that area when she had arrived at Jackson. But she couldn’t find a clue that reminded her of the way they were going, and she started to think she had reached the town just for luck.  
<< We arrived >> said Joel slowing down his horse.  
Y/N did the same, following the man into a building where they left the horses tied up at a pipe.  
Then, they climbed the stairs and reached the highest point of the building where there was a big window that bestowed upon the town and the surrounding countryside.  
Y/N’s eyes widened at the view and for a moment she forgot about being on patrol.  
Joel, behind her, was looking at her, the book of signatures already opened on the table near him. He cleared his throat and Y/N turned looking at him before her eyes moved on the book.  
<< This is where you have to sign. You write the date, what happened and your name. Got it? >> asked the man.  
Y/N studied the book, reading the notes of the previous days before she looked up at Joel and nodded.  
<< The place’s safe. No infected nor other people. So, you write it down and then go to the next outpost. If there are any infected, you kill them. If there are people, you talk to them, trying to understand who they are and what they want. They’re hostile, you kill them. If they want to trade, you try to establish a deal >> explained Joel while Y/N wrote down on the book.  
<< I got it >> she answered putting down the pen when she finished.  
Joel looked at her and sighed.  
<< You don’t bring people at Jackson unless Maria or Tommy tell you so >> he added with a severe look.  
Y/N nodded.  
<< Got it >> she answered again.  
Joel looked at her, up and down, and then shook his head.  
<< Alright. Let’s go >> he said leading Y/N out of the outpost.  
They moved to the next one, where they didn’t find any infected or people as well, so Y/N moved from the window to write on the book under Joel’s careful gaze that she pretended not to notice.  
When she finished, she looked up at him as to say to him “go ahead and check if I did well”. The man huffed and looked at the book to read what she had written.  
Joel looked at her and nodded making Y/N smile. He stared at her for a moment and then walked out of the room, heading to the exit.  
The third outpost was the furthest and by the time they reached it, the sun was high in the sky.  
Joel looked behind his back at Y/N, whose face was crossed by a small smile as she looked around. The man asked himself how the girl had survived that far on her own, without a group. The thought led him to think that she had lied to them, for that reason she kept avoiding crowded places wherever she could.  
She was hiding something.  
<< How far for the next outpost? >> Y/N asked catching Joel’s attention.  
<< Not far. We’re almost there, why? >> asked the man and when the answer didn’t arrive, he stopped his horse and looked at Y/N who was, as always looking down with her cheeks red.  
<< I need to go >> she answered in a low tone, hoping that Joel couldn’t hear her.  
The man stopped a smile that menaced to appear on his lips, limiting himself to nod at Y/N who continued to avoid looking at him.  
Finally, they could see the building in the distance and if Y/N had to guess, it was ten minutes away.  
Joel was looking around when his eyes fell on the ground and noticed some fresh footprints on the little remaining snow. He stopped his horse and Y/N did the same, prompting herself from her horse to look at what Joel was looking.  
<< What is it? >> she asked in a low tone.  
<< There's someone >> answered the man in an even lower tone.  
<< Infected? >> Y/N asked again looking around.  
<< Could be >> replied the man spurring his horse once again.  
They followed the footprints, getting closer to the outpost when they suddenly hear the cry of some infected and before Joel could tell Y/N to get down her horse, she brought a finger to her lips, looking right into the man’s eyes.  
Joel frowned, but then Y/N pointed behind him and turning around the man saw a clicker, standing a few feet from him.  
They silently got down their horses and took out their pistols. Joel turned his head to Y/N and made a gesture to tell her to get closer to him.  
Y/N did as she was told and once she got on Joel’s side, the man put a hand over her shoulder.  
<< I’m gonna take it. You stay here >> whispered the man, taking out his knife.  
<< I can take care of the others that way >> said Y/N looking at the runner that had just disappeared behind a bush.  
<< You wait here for me >> ordered Joel with a harsh tone.  
Y/N looked at him while he slowly and silently reached the back of the clicker and when she was sure he was far enough, she turned and started to walk towards the other infected.  
She hid behind a tree, hearing the runner’s cry just a few steps from her. Then, she peered from the tree and once she saw that the runner had its back at her, she quickly grabbed it and stabbed its head. The runner fell on the ground dead and after Y/N cleaned her knife from the blood on the clothes of the infected, she went on.  
She had to walk a little bit before she could find another infected, and this time there were five, two of which were clickers.  
Y/N hid behind a big rock and took out her pistol, checking the bullets in it: the charger was full.  
She took a deep breath and then peered from the rock where she saw a runner just right near her.  
Y/N was about to catch it when a hand grasped her by her shoulder and a hand stopped her from gasping out loud.  
<< It’s me >> a low voice whispered in her hear.  
Y/N calmed down instantly and did to turn and look at Joel who had let her go.  
<< I told you to wait for me >> he scolded her.  
<< I can handle myself >> defended Y/N and Joel gave her a look.  
<< How many? >> he asked.  
<< Five. Two clickers on the left >> answered Y/N pointing at the infected in the distance.  
<< I take care of them, you mind those runners >> said the man preparing himself.  
<< If they see you, they’re going to alert the clickers. We need to kill the runners first >> said Y/N stopping him by his arm.  
Damn, it was firm.  
<< Do as I say >> scolded the man once again before he set off towards the clickers.  
Y/N looked at Joel as he quietly and carefully headed to the clickers while she targeted the closest runner that was staggering a few feet from her.  
Y/N took out her knife and quickly stabbed the runner in its head after grabbing it from behind. The infected tried to free itself, but she was quicker and in a few moments the runner was dead, and she was heading to the next one.  
Y/N was just about to reach another runner when she heard a clicker cry and turning around she saw Joel running towards her while the infected was chasing him.  
<< RUN! >> he yelled.  
Y/N heard a cry close to her and turning her head she saw a runner coming towards her.  
She jumped back when the runner tried to claw her and taking out her pistol she shot right in its head before she started to run.  
Now all the other infected were chasing them and Y/N realized there were more. Two other clickers had come out of some trees while four runners had jumped down a cliff.  
They took cover behind a rock and Y/N didn’t waste time in opening her backpack and taking out a bottle of alcohol.  
<< Keep them busy >> she said to Joel who, understanding what she was doing, started to shoot at the infected, killing two runners and missing a clicker for a couple of inches.  
Y/N put a cloth inside the bottle and after two attempts, she managed to light it.  
<< Here fuckers! >> she said coming out of the rock and throwing the bottle that smashed on one of the clickers.  
The fire spread quickly, involving two runners that were running towards them.  
Joel looked over at Y/N who was now shooting at the other infected without hesitation. Her gaze was focused on them, her brows frowned, and her lips pressed together. It seemed to Joel that she had transformed into a war machine.  
Y/N killed a runner while with the corner of her eye she saw a clicker running towards them, more precisely towards Joel.  
<< Watch it! >> she yelled but the man was too focused on her that he noticed the infected when it was too late.  
He shot it, but that didn’t stop the clicker from pushing Joel on the ground.  
<< Joel! >> called Y/N, killing another runner before she ran towards him.  
Joel was fighting with all his forces against the clicker that was trying to bite his neck. Then he suddenly saw Y/N stab the infected in its head more than once before she pulled it from the shoulders making it fall onto the ground beside Joel.  
Y/N stabbed the clicker once more and then took out her pistol again, shooting the last runner standing.  
There was a moment of quiet where they could still hear the echo of the last shot in the air.  
Y/N put away her pistol and then raised on her feet helping Joel doing the same.  
<< Thanks >> he said looking at the dead clicker.  
Y/N nodded and then started to search the infected.  
<< What are you doing? >> asked the man while she moved to another infected.  
<< You might be surprised by how many things they still have in their pockets >> answered Y/N, showing a lighter and some scotch to the man before she threw the objects at him.  
Joel took them and analyzed them before he put them away in his backpack.  
When they finished, they called their horses and headed to the outpost where Y/N wrote down on the book of signatures.  
February 23rd, 2034.  
Killed infected in the area. More or less a dozen. Searched them for supplies, found something useful.  
Y/N/Joel  
Y/N put the pen down and then reached Joel who was scanning the landscape from the window. She sat down on the chair next to the man with a sigh and like Joel, she started to scan around.  
Joel moved his eyes on Y/N now with her usual calm expression as she was looking outside. Now Joel knew how she had survived that far. She wasn’t stupid nor naïve. She knew how to endure and survive.  
Time passed and either of them tried to start a conversation. For Joel was normal being so taciturn but having Y/N by his side made him understand he was a talkative type.  
He continued to dart his eyes at her every now and then, waiting for her to ask him something, anything. But Y/N never did so, in the end, was he who started to talk.  
<< You’re quiet >> he said trying not to make his curiousness transpire.  
Y/N turned to look at him as he looked out of the window with his usual expressionless face.  
<< Is it bothering you? >> Y/N asked and Joel looked at her surprised by that answer.  
It wasn’t provocative, just calm.  
Joel stared at her before he shook his head and moved his eyes away.  
<< No >> he said.  
<< Okay then >> Y/N replied smiling and turning her head she looked at the town in the distance.  
However she could still feel Joel’s eyes on her, so she moved her eyes on him catching him looking at her.  
The man diverted his eyes instantly, pretending he wasn’t looking at her.  
<< Do you want me to talk? >> she asked frowning, not understanding what the man wanted her to tell him.  
Joel sighed and rubbed his forehand.  
<< No, it’s just…you’re always so quiet. I never heard you ask a question since you arrived >> he said shrugging and crossing his arms on his chest.  
Y/N smiled at him and then lowered her eyes on her hands.  
<< I guess it’s kinda confusing for you having Ellie always questioning about everything >> Y/N said giving Joel a look.  
Joel huffed a laugh looking out of the window.  
<< Yeah, well…that kiddo’s got a curious soul >> he said, more to himself than to Y/N.  
She smiled again, turning her head away.  
<< But, it’s not just that. I noticed…I mean, Tommy and Maria and the others noticed that you’re always on your own. Never come to the shed or stayed with the others your age >> Joel added making Y/N turn to him again.  
The young woman frowned at his words.  
<< What you’re saying it’s that I need to spend time with someone my age? >> Y/N asked.  
<< No I-I…uff, I mean you can do whatever you want >> Joel replied looking away while shaking his head.  
Y/N lowered her head again, playing nervously with her hands as she pondered on the idea of telling the man what was actually going on with her or if it was better to let it go.  
In the end, she sighed and looked out of the window.  
<< I like the quiet. I like to stay by myself >> she said catching Joel’s attention who didn’t turn to her right away.  
<< It’s that I don’t feel comfortable near people. I don’t feel comfortable talking with them and I don’t like questions. I didn’t mean to offend anyone >> Y/N said lowering her head again before she collected all her courage to look at the man, who was now staring at her.  
<< You didn’t >> Joel said, diverting his eyes once again.  
Y/N smiled at his response, glad he didn’t investigate any further and instead stayed quiet.


	3. what you miss the most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.  
> Hope you like it!

Three weeks had passed from when Y/N and Joel went on patrol together.  
When they came back and Maria asked them how it went, Joel told her Y/N was perfectly capable for the task, so Maria paired her with a certain Malia, a woman on her thirties that really liked to talk.  
Y/N thought she was okay, and she liked to listen to her as far as she hadn’t to talk in turn.  
The first week, Y/N was constantly watched, since she had a lot of things to learn, so Maria asked the veterans to supervise her and be available for any question she had.  
Among the veterans, there was Joel as well, of course.  
It occurred that they had been on patrol together some other times, and that helped Y/N to grow more confident in front of the man who seemed to watch her from another perspective.  
Tommy was happy to see his brother working on integrating another person into the group and Ellie was happy to have some time for herself without the old man breathing on her neck. 

It was already dark outside, although it was only six in the evening.  
Y/N was in her hut since she had finished working for that day, so she decided to take a quick shower.  
She had just changed in her clothes when she heard a knock at the door, and with the towel still in her hands to dry her hair, she went to open the door.  
<< Joel >> she said surprised when she saw the man standing outside her door.  
The man faintly smiled at her while his eyes quickly roamed over her.  
<< I just passed by to see if you were okay. I haven’t seen you in a while >> said the man hooking his thumb in the waistband of his jeans.  
<< I’m fine, I just got a lot of work to do >> answered Y/N putting the towel around her neck.  
<< Yeah, I heard you’re working hard. Everyone’s pretty grateful to you >> said the man taking sight of the hut.  
<< I just like to keep myself busy, that’s all >> shrugged Y/N lowering her eyes.  
Joel smiled, noticing how she always did that when someone complimented her.  
It was cute.  
<< I know >> he said.  
Y/N looked up at him and sighed while the man stared at her for a moment that soon enough became awkward.  
<< Okay then, I’ll…just go >> he said and oh-so-slowly did to turn and go away.  
Y/N bit her lip, thinking if it was a good idea to invite the man in, but her brain decided for her.  
<< You want to come in? >> she asked so fast she wouldn’t have been surprised if the man hadn’t caught a word.  
But he did and turning around, he smiled at her and nodded.  
Y/N waited for Joel to enter and take a look around before she closed the door and walked to the bathroom where she left the towel and looked at herself in the mirror for a moment.  
<< Who gave you these? >> asked the man from the other room.  
Y/N reached him near the tv where there were some DVDs spread all over the furniture.  
<< Err…some of the guys gave me those during the first weeks >> she answered taking one and looking at the cover.  
Joel took another and read the title on the cover. It was “Dawn of the Wolf”.  
Y/N noticed Joel staring at the DVD and stretching her neck she read the title.  
<< That was pretty awful >> she said.  
<< They made a sequel, you know? >> said the man putting the DVD down and turning his head he saw Y/N wrinkle her nose.  
<< Jesus. Before the outcast? >> she asked chuckling, tidying up the DVDs.  
<< Yeah, it was at the cinema >> said Joel while seating on the couch.  
<< It’s just a dumb teen movie >> Y/N said sitting down next to Joel who smiled at his words.  
The same he had told Ellie once.  
<< Did you saw the sequel? >> she asked looking at the man.  
Joel’s eyes moved down on his hands and his expression suddenly became sadder.  
Y/N noticed the change on his face and cleared her throat.  
<< Sorry, didn’t mean to bring to mind bad memories >> she muttered lowering her eyes.  
<< No, it’s okay. I actually saw it and it wasn’t better than the first one >> the man quickly answered.  
Y/N chuckled imaging Joel being forced to go to the cinema and pay to watch a dumb movie like that.  
<< What is it that you miss most from the old days? >> she asked leaning against the couch.  
Joel huffed, doing the same and rubbing his chin.  
<< Definitely coffee >> he said looking at the ceiling.  
Y/N hummed looking at her naked feet.  
<< Never try it >> she said shrugging.  
Joel turned his head to look at her with an aghast expression.  
<< How you never tried coffee? >> he asked while Y/N laughed at his expression.  
<< Well, would you imagine a little girl of five years old drinking coffee? >> she asked with an eyebrow raised.  
<< Were you that young when the outbreak happened? >> frowned Joel turning slightly to her.  
<< Yep. My mother died that same day. She was a nurse. My father a few years later was killed by some FEDRA soldier. I ended up alone at the age of eleven >> Y/N said lowering her eyes on her hands that were playing with the hem of her t-shirt.  
<< And since then you’ve been by yourself? >> asked Joel staring at her.  
Y/N nodded and sighing she looked up at the man, her eyes slightly glossy.  
Joel hummed looking away.  
<< What about you? >> he asked after a couple of minutes of silence.  
Y/N looked at him and frowned, not understanding what he was talking about.  
<< What is it that you miss most of the old world? >> he asked again.  
<< Oh, err…music. I know that I was very young, but my parents used to put on music every time we were all together. I remember my dad, dragging my mother for a dance while she was washing the dishes. I was playing on the ground with some stupid dolls or whatever, and I stopped to look at them laughing. Then my father took my hand and began to dance with me >> Y/N told the man, looking into space with a nostalgic expression on her face.  
Joel stared at her, biting his cheek while thinking how beautiful she looked when she had that smile on her face.  
Y/N noticed she had absentminded, so she shook her head and looked back at Joel finding him staring at her  
<< So, yeah…music. I happened to listen to something every now and then during my wandering, but nothing that I actually liked >> she said waving her hand distractedly.  
Joel hummed again, rubbing his forehead.  
<< You know I…I have some guitars back at my place. If you want, you can pass by tomorrow afternoon to listen to something >> he said darting his eyes at Y/N whose face lighten up.  
<< Really? >> she asked straightening up on the couch.  
<< Yeah, sure >> chuckled the man at her reaction.  
<< If it’s okay, I’d like to >> Y/N said full of hope.  
<< It’s settled, then >> nodded Joel still with a wide smile on his face. 

The next day Y/N couldn’t contain her nervousness at the idea of going at Joel’s in the afternoon.  
Would she have been alone with him? Would have been awkward?  
It wasn’t that she had never spent time alone with the man, but it was always on patrol.  
That was different, Y/N knew that, and she couldn’t believe she had accepted, knowing how uncomfortable she would have felt.  
But the die had been cast, so when she came back from patrol, she headed towards Joel’s place and knocked at the door once she climbed the outside stairs.  
She waited out, silently hoping to herself that he wasn’t home yet or that he had forgotten. But she knew her prayers couldn’t be heard and after a couple of minutes, the door opened.  
Y/N was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t the tall, broad men to open the door but the skinny little girl he loved so much.  
<< Hi Y/N >> greeted Ellie with a smile.  
<< Hi Ellie. Didn’t think you would have been here >> Y/N smiled.  
<< Is it a problem for you? >> frowned the girl.  
<< No, no absolutely. On the contrary, it’s good to see you >> said Y/N trying to cover the embarrassment on her voice, but she didn’t a great job and Ellie smirked at her amused.  
<< The same for me, I guess >> she shrugged.  
<< Ellie. You haven’t finished yet >> they both heard Joel say from the second floor of the house.  
<< Y/N’s here! >> shouted Ellie before she turned her head to Y/N again.  
Y/N faintly smiled, feeling her cheeks warm up already.  
<< Come inside >> said Ellie, stepping aside to let her pass.  
Y/N entered the house, smelling right away wood, varnish, and leather. It was a strange combo.  
<< What where you doing? >> she asked looking around.  
Ellie’s eyes widened.  
<< Err…we were… >>  
Both of them turned their head as they heard someone going down the stair and when Joel showed up, he faintly smiled at Y/N who did the same.  
<< Hey there >> he greeted.  
<< Hi >> she answered as Joel reached her.  
<< How was patrolling? >> he asked crossing his arms on his chest.  
<< Everything was pretty calm. We found some supplies on the way >> Y/N answered.  
<< Good >> replied Joel.  
<< So, now that Y/N’s here, can we postpone until tomorrow? >> asked Ellie hopefully.  
<< Absolutely not >> answered Joel with a severe tone making the little girl huff.  
Y/N looked at them amused.  
<< I’m not playing in front of her! I suck >> Ellie sad pointing at Y/N.  
<< You underrate yourself, kiddo >> said Joel, now with a gentler tone.  
Y/N gave Joel a questioning look and sighing he said to her:  
<< I’m teaching Ellie how to play the guitar >>  
Y/N turned to the little girl who stuck out her tongue at the man.  
<< If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay. But I don’t know the first thing about it, so there’s no way I can possibly judge you >> she said in a comforting tone.  
Joel gave Ellie a knowing look and she huffed again rubbing her neck.  
<< Come on >> he said gesturing Y/N to follow him.  
<< Hugh…alright >> said Ellie climbing the stair right after Joel.  
Y/N followed them upstairs, sliding her hand over the smooth wood of the railing as the smell of varnish became thicker in the air.  
Joel led them into a room with worktables all around it on which there were various materials for carving spread all over.  
On the left, there was a wall system where there were exposed some of Joel’s carving representing an American eagle, a bear eating a fish, and a bunny. Turning on her right, Y/N saw the backbone of a guitar while another one already finished, was stuck on the wall.  
<< This is…incredible >> Y/N said running her hand over the unfinished guitar.  
<< I was a carpenter before the outbreak. Guess I didn’t want to waste my skills >> the man said shrugging.  
<< I wouldn’t have forgiven you if you had >> Y/N said looking at Joel with a wide smile on her face.  
The man returned the smile and then turned towards Ellie who was strumming with her guitar at the end of the room.  
<< Okay, let me hear the last part we learned today >> he said walking towards the little girl.  
<< Why that? Couldn’t I play the one I already learned? >> complained Ellie while Y/N leaned back against one of the tables.  
<< You have to push yourself if you really want to learn >> said the man sitting near Ellie who huffed and turned the pages on her sheet music.  
The girl’s face contracted in a focused expression as the fingers of her left hand found their places on the strings of the guitar. Her right hand gently and slowly started to pinch them, creating a melodic sound that wasn’t smooth, but the notes weren’t too detached from each other neither, so Y/N could hear the general sound of the song.  
Joel kept his eyes on the sheet music, nodding every now and then while rubbing his chin. He suddenly looked up at Y/N who, caught in the act of staring at him, moved her eyes on the wooden floor.  
The song was now faster and looking up at Ellie, Y/N noticed she was more secure and relaxed on what she was doing.  
That until she pressed on the wrong string, making the sound that came out of it shrill and off-key.  
<< Oh, fuck it! >> the little girl exclaimed exasperated.  
<< Language >> reproved Joel.  
<< I messed it up >> said Ellie looking back at him.  
<< You were going well >> assured the man.  
<< Exactly, I was >> huffed the girl looking at the sheet music and shaking her head.  
Joel looked over at Y/N and sighed as for saying to her “this eager generation”, making her chuckled.  
<< It’s enough for today. Give it to me >> he said tapping the girl’s shoulder who passed him the guitar.  
Joel pinched the strings lightly and quickly before he adjusted the tune of the instrument.  
<< So, what you wanna listen to? >> he asked looking at Y/N who shrugged.  
<< Whatever you like, really >> she said, grabbing the end of the table to release some of the tension  
Joel raised his eyebrows at her, and Y/N felt her cheeks warm up again.  
The man sighed, thinking about a song to play, and after a moment, he adjusted his hand on the guitar and started to play.  
The sound was half-way between joyful and melancholic and while Joel played it, Y/N noticed his face contort into a sad smile.  
As he continued to play, Y/N closed her eyes, for a moment forgetting about where she was and the world outside that four walls.  
Memories about her happy moments with her family started to come up to her mind and she could feel the tears sting at the corners of her eyes.  
The faces of her parents showed up and smiled at her before they started to dance, smiling and laughing at each other.  
Now the tears started to fall down her cheeks and Ellie, noticing them, gently touched Joel’s shoulder and pointed at her.  
The man looked at Y/N and smiled, knowing why she was crying. He didn’t stop, not wanting to ruin the memories she was reliving at that moment. If he could have gone on forever, he probably would have. But the song was about to finish and with it, Y/N memories started to fade away.  
When the song ended, Y/N opened her eyes and looked at Joel smiling at him.  
<< Thank you >> she said, wiping away her tears.  
Joel nodded, giving the guitar back at Ellie, who took without saying anything and put it back in its cover.  
They walked back at the door, where Y/N turned towards Joel who was behind her.  
<< Thank you again for the song. It was beautiful >> she said smiling at the man, who looked at the ground embarrassed for a moment.  
<< Don’t mention it >> he said waving his hand.  
They heard some fast footsteps on the stair and turning their heads they saw Ellie reaching them.  
<< Wait, why you’re going away? >> she asked frowning at them both.  
Y/N and Joel exchanged a look, not knowing what to answer.  
<< She can stay here for dinner, can’t her Joel? >> said Ellie looking at the man who shrugged.  
<< I don’t want to be a bother >> Y/N said to Ellie, avoiding looking at Joel who she knew was staring at her.  
<< Bullshit, you can stay. Right, Joel? >> asked again Ellie, more like threatened the man.  
<< If you want to >> Joel shrugged looking at Y/N who widened her eyes at his words.  
The man assured her with a smile that Y/N returned.  
<< Okay >> she said in the end.


	4. movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.   
> Hope you like it!

Three months had passed since Y/N had arrived at Jackson.   
The cold, cloudy and snowy days of February had been replaced by the warm, sunny, and colorful ones of May.   
Y/N had finally fully integrated into the group, feeling more confident talking with the others and standing for her ideas that at the beginning, she simply kept for herself. But she never lost the calmness and kindness that characterized her, which everyone liked.   
It was another sunny day in Jackson, and that day Y/N had to help Brody at the stables since Maria wanted her to stay in town for a day instead of going out on patrol as always.   
So, she wore a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and her boots, knowing the snickers wouldn’t be appropriated for where she had to walk.   
She also wore a cap, to protect her face from the sun and after she got outside her hut, she headed to the stables.   
Y/N was grooming one of the horses when Brody called her from the other side of the stables.   
<< I’m here! >> answered Y/N, petting the horse while she led it into its box.   
When she turned again, she saw the big man walk with Joel. The two were talking about something funny apparently because at some point Joel chuckled and looked over at Y/N who was staring at him.   
But instead of lowering her eyes, as usual, she simply waved at him. Her cheeks were red, of course, but she could blame the heat for that.   
Y/N walked towards the two men and when she got near enough, Brody put a hand on her shoulder, smiling at her.   
<< Take a break. Joel wants to talk to you >> said the man looking at Joel who nodded at him.   
<< Okay Brody. Thank you >> said Y/N smiling at the big man who winked at her.   
<< You’re welcome, little one >> he said walking away.   
Y/N and Joel waited for him to be far enough and then the man turned to look at her.   
<< I think he’s got a soft spot for you >> mocked Joel and Y/N friendly punched him on the arm.   
<< I could tell the same thing about you >> she talked back, realizing just after what she had said.   
Joel’s eyes widened, and Y/N begged the ground to just swallow her.   
<< I mean, for Ellie >> she nervously laughed.   
<< Oh, yeah…of course >> Joel nodded looking away embarrassed as well.   
God, she wanted to disappear.   
<< Anyway, what you wanted to tell me? Something about patrol? >> she asked trying to release some tension.   
<< No, no. I just wanted to…err, Ellie and I are going to watch a movie tonight. If you want to come… >> said the man shrugging.   
<< Yeah, okay >> nodded Y/N, smiling at him.  
It wasn’t the first time Joel had invited her to watch a movie with him and Ellie. After that dinner night together, the little girl developed a liking for her, and it seemed she had spread it to Joel as well. So, the three of them became good friends and spent a lot of time together. In fact, there wasn’t a day that Y/N didn’t see Ellie or Joel.   
<< Okay, then. Be at my place at nine >> said the man starting to walk away.   
<< Yes sir >> replied Y/N smiling at the man who smirked at the nickname.   
She watched him walk away and she let her eyes roam over the man’s wide shoulders and naked arms. Damn, they were thick alright. And his walk...it was confident, but not looking for attention. It was the walk of a man who knew when and where to be a threat or not.   
Y/N got back to work, but her mind constantly went at that night. She loved spending time with the man and Ellie, but if she had to be completely honest with herself, she wouldn’t say no to a night alone with Joel.   
<< What am I thinking? >> she said shaking her head while cleaning one of the horses’ boxes.   
But her mind wasn’t about to give up and instead, pressed on the subject a little more with imagines of her and Joel together while watching a movie (maybe a romantic one, even if it wasn’t her type) and right at the kiss scene, he turns to her and leans forwards, his lips almost on hers…  
<< Y/N stop it. It’s just a movie and Ellie will be there with you >> she scolded herself again.   
Turning her head, she noticed one of the horses staring at her while chewing some hay.   
<< What are looking at? >> she asked with an offended tone, but soon after she went to pet the horse.   
Also, talking with the horses? Getting better I see, Y/N thought while sighing.

It was half-past eight in the evening and Y/N was ready. She had taken a shower and spent almost half an hour to decide what to wear. Not that she had a wide choice, however, she tried to wear her best clothes, that were a pair of black jeans (particularly tight) and a striped white and light-green shirt, that was so wide she had to knot the hems together at the waist.   
And of course, her favorite pairs of sneakers.   
Then, she combed her hair and tried to fix them a little, but without big results.   
At nine minus a quarter, she got out her hut and walked towards Joel’s house, feeling her heart beating wildly against her ribs.   
Calm down, Y/N, she thought to herself as she climbed the outside stairs and knocked at the door.   
Joel opened just a few seconds later to Y/N’s surprise.   
<< Evening, ma’am >> he smiled at her moving aside to let her pass.   
Y/N’s voice got stuck in her throat at the nickname, so she just smiled awkwardly at the man and then got inside.   
<< Ellie ain’t here yet >> Joel said closing the door behind Y/N, who turned to look at him with her brows raised.   
<< Oh, okay >> she said.   
<< Yeah, she must have lost track of the time >> said the man putting his hands on his hips.   
Why he had to be so hot? Was he even trying to impress her? Because if he was, he was doing a really great job.   
<< I think I got here a little early >> nervously laughed Y/N looking at the clock stuck on the wall.   
<< Don’t worry. I’d like to spend some time alone before that kid shows up >> said the man making Y/N flushed.   
She diverted her eyes on the wooden floor and faintly smiled while Joel bit his tongue while staring at her.   
She was beautiful, and with those jeans so tight…wooh!   
<< Come with me. I want to show you something >> he suddenly said heading to the stairs.   
Y/N frowned at him and then followed the man upstairs and to the carving room. But as she passed near a cabinet, her eyes fell on a photograph representing Joel and a young, blonde girl who was raising a trophy.   
Y/N took the photo and smiled when she noticed how young (and awesome) Joel was in that photo.   
<< She was my daughter, Sarah >> he suddenly said from behind Y/N, who jumped when she heard his low voice.   
<< Sorry, didn’t want to… >> she began but the man shook his head.   
<< It’s alright. She died the day of the outbreak, like your mom >> he said staring at the photo.   
<< Was she bit? >> Y/N asked cautiously.   
<< No. A soldier shot us and she… >> began to explain Joel, but then stopped and sighed.   
Y/N put down the photograph and instinctively hugged Joel, who was a little taken aback at the beginning but then relaxed in her arms.   
<< I’m sorry >> she whispered in his ear before she stepped back.   
Joel sadly smiled at her.   
<< We all have a heartbreaking story after what happened. And if I have to be honest, I still can’t believe you made it on your own for all this time >> he said making Y/N chuckle.   
<< Believe me, neither do I. But I’m happy to have found Jackson >> she smiled back at him.   
Joel lightly touched her arm and then led her into his carving room where Y/N noticed a figure covered by a dark blue cloth.   
Joel reached it and then turned his head to Y/N, smiling at her.   
<< What is it? >> she asked frowning at the man who as an answer, took off the blue cloth and revealed a carving representing Y/N while grooming Scout (her horse).   
Y/N’s eyes widened at the sight of it and turning her head to Joel she saw him smiling proudly at her.   
<< Oh, my God. This is…I mean…this is amazing, Joel! >> she exclaimed lightly touching the surface of the carving.   
<< You like it? >> asked the man.   
<< Are you kidding me? It’s beautiful >> Y/N laughed.   
<< Good, because it’s yours >> said the man making Y/N snap her head at him.   
<< No, I can’t accept it. You worked so hard on this >> she said stepping back.   
<< I worked on it for you. Tommy told me when your birthday is and since it’s already passed, I thought about a present for you >> the man explained.   
<< You didn’t have to, but thanks. It’s…I can’t even describe how much I like it! >> Y/N almost shouted, clapping her hands together for how happy she was.   
<< I’ll bring it to you tomorrow. It’s pretty heavy >> said Joel covering the carving up again.   
<< Don’t worry, I’m a strong one >> joked Y/N raising her arms and showing him her muscles.   
<< I’m sure you are >> chuckled the man back.   
Y/N shook her head lowering her arms, but her eyes were locked into Joel’s ones.   
The silence fell into the room, but there was no awkwardness between them. Just pure silence.   
Joel’s eyes were still on her while Y/N’s ones darted to his lips before they quickly got on his eyes again.   
The man noticed that and for a moment he thought she would have kissed him, he hoped she would have.   
But then they heard someone knock at the door downstairs and they quickly got back to reality, awkwardly looking down on the ground while stepping away from each other.   
<< It must be Ellie >> said Joel walking out if the room.   
Y/N took a deep breath, realizing she was holding it and then followed the man.   
<< Why it took you so fucking long? >> complained the little girl when Joel opened the door.   
She stepped inside so the man could close the door behind her.   
<< Sorry, I was upstairs with Y/N. I gave her the present >> answered the man glancing at Y/N who smiled at him.   
<< Oh, man! I wanted to give it to her! >> whined Ellie.   
<< Worse for you that you got here so late. It’s almost half-past nine. Where have you been? >> asked the man crossing his arms on his chest.   
<< Err…I was with Cat and the others >> Ellie vaguely answered.   
Joel frowned at the girl.   
<< I believe I saw her around. The girl with straight, brown hair, with a tattoo on her shoulder? >> asked Y/N catching their attention.   
<< It’s her, yep >> answered Ellie.   
<< She seems to be funny >> Y/N added looking at Joel who hummed.   
<< She is. So, you liked the present? >> asked Ellie with a wide smile on her face.   
<< Of course, I did! >> chuckled Y/N not looking at Joel.   
<< So, what do we watch? >> asked the latter while heading to the living room.   
<< Err…Yeah about that…I can’t stay tonight >> said Ellie while nervously playing with her hands.   
<< You were the one who wanted to watch a movie >> said Joel frowning.   
<< I know but Cat told me the others are meeting up tonight and it’s the first time they’ve invited me >> said Ellie and Y/N noticed she could barely contain the excitement in her voice.   
Turning to look at Joel, she raised a brow as for saying to him “what you expect, they’re kids”.   
<< Alright but promise me you’ll be at home by midnight >> said Joel shaking his head.   
<< Pft, of course I won’t >> replied Ellie shrugging.   
<< You got things to do in the morning >> reminded Joel.   
<< Yeah, well…I’ll figure that in the morning. Oh, shit! I’m already late. See you two then >> yelled Ellie before she ran out of the door without even close it.   
Y/N chuckled while heading to the door to close it.   
<< She’s got some energy >> she said turning to Joel who sighed.   
<< I haven’t seen her this excited since…well, a long time >> he said, and she nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.   
<< It’s good the others are integrating her. I know how it feels when you’re not part of the group yet >> she said rubbing her arm.   
<< But you are now >> said Joel.   
<< Thank the kind people who live here and also thank Maria and Tommy…and you >> Y/N said looking at the man who faintly smiled at her and then looked at the ground flushed.   
<< So, what are we watching? >> Y/N asked walking towards the couch on which she let herself fall.   
Joel hummed walking towards the wall system where he kept his DVDs.   
<< Mmh…have you ever saw this? >> he asked turning around and showing Y/N a DVD without any cover, just the name written on a piece of paper.   
<< “The good, the bad and the ugly”…not that I remember >> she said giving back the DVD.   
<< It’s a western >> replied Joel looking at her.   
<< Western? That kind of movie with people wearing weird hats and that duel all the time? >> Y/N asked frowning.   
<< Yeah, kinda like that >> chuckled Joel.   
<< Fine by me >> shrugged Y/N.  
<< Alright >> said Joel putting on the DVD.  
Then he sat near Y/N, who instinctively, moved to the furthest part of the couch and lowered her eyes on her hands, scratching her fingernails.   
<< I don’t bite, you know? >> Y/N heard the man say at her right and turning her head at him, she found him staring at her with an amused smile on his face.   
<< I’m sorry…it’s just…that’s Ellie’s place >> she nervously laughed.   
<< Yes, but tonight she ain’t here. Come on >> said the man patting the empty seat next to him.   
Y/N took a deep breath before she moved near the man, avoiding looking at him.   
Joel smiled at her reaction and noticed right away her cheeks grow red but said nothing about it. He simply started the movie.   
An hour passed and if Y/N had to be totally honest, that movie was boring, and she had started to feel sleepy.   
Joel next to her, rubbed his face a couple of times and with the corner of his eye, looked over at Y/N who seemed to have his exact bored expression.   
Why on earth did he choose that movie?   
Maybe because you hoped the night would have turned another way?   
Suggested his subconscious, making the man shook slightly his head and forced himself to focus on the movie.   
But soon after he felt something warm on his shoulder and looking at Y/N he found her dozed off next to him.   
Joel couldn’t stop a smile as he moved his arm, so Y/N crawled even closer to him in her sleep and put her head on his chest. He started to caress her hair and then his hand got lower on her shoulder and hip, resting close to her backside emphasized by those tight jeans.   
He soon found himself thinking not-so-innocent things about Y/N and what he would have done to her, but almost immediately his conscience stopped him.   
She was twenty-six, for god’s sake. He couldn’t, she wouldn’t want someone like him, so old and scarred by life.   
So, in the end, he rested his hand on her shoulder, sighing to himself that whatever his mind wanted to play him into, it had to stop.   
As soon as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.   
> Hope you like it!

Y/N hadn’t seen Joel for an entire week since that movie night together that ended up with her sleeping in Joel’s couch for the night.   
When she woke up, he wasn’t at home, and Y/N thought he had gone on patrol, so she simply got out leaving a note where she apologized for having fallen asleep and thanked him for letting her sleep there.   
However, she didn’t see Joel the next day, nor the next one. She even hadn’t seen him in town accidentally. It seemed to Y/N that he had disappeared into thin air. And when she asked Ellie, she simply replied that she didn’t notice anything strange about him.   
<< Something’s wrong? >> asked the little girl noticing Y/N’s concerned look.   
<< No, it’s just…It’s nothing. He must be really busy >> she assured her with a smile.   
<< Haven’t you seen him these days? >> asked Ellie frowning.   
<< I don’t see him since that movie night when you ditched us >> chuckled Y/N, but Ellie’s eyes widened.   
<< What the fuck, man? Okay, I’ll talk with him >> Ellie said and did to turn, but Y/N stopped her by her shoulder.   
<< What…no, Ellie. I appreciate your interest, but better not get involved >> she said.   
<< You sure? Cause I can kick that man’s ass whenever I want >> said the girl making Y/N laugh.   
<< I’m sure you can, but it’s okay. Really. I’ll talk with him when I’ll see him >> she assured her again with a smile.  
<< Okay, sure >> shrugged Ellie, before she walked away.   
Something was weird, Y/N could tell that. But she hadn’t time to think about it. Malia was waiting for her to go out on patrol and she was already late.  
So, she headed to her hut where she took her backpack and cap and then headed to the gate in a rush. But when she reached it, she looked around for Malia, noticing she wasn’t here.   
<< Y/N >> she heard someone call her and turning her head she saw Tommy walk towards her.   
<< Tommy >> she greeted him with a smile.   
<< I was looking for Malia, but she isn’t here >> Y/N added looking around again.   
<< She can’t go out on patrol today. She sprang her ankle, it’s pretty bad >> Tommy said putting his hands on his hips.   
<< I’m sorry, will she be fine? >> asked Y/N and the man nodded.   
<< Yeah, nothing to worry about. But now she left you alone >> he said waving his hand distractedly  
<< It’s not a problem, I can handle a watch alone. I did it for all those years >> Y/N said shrugging.   
<< Yeah and almost died >> mocked Tommy raising an eyebrow.   
<< Hey, I’m the only one here who can boast about getting alive from a horde. Show some respect >> joked Y/N making the man chuckle.   
<< Okay. Anyway, you don’t’ have to go alone. I found you some company >> Tommy smirked at Y/N.   
<< Please tell me that’s not George >> she whined tilting back her head.   
The man smirked at her again before he gestured her to follow him. Y/N sighed and did as he asked her, following him at the stables where she found Brody saddling Scout and…  
<< Joel >> Y/N said almost out of breath.   
The man was fixing the saddle on his horse and when he heard his name he turned looking into Y/N eyes.   
There was a moment of silence between the two and Y/N was almost interrupting it, but Joel was faster.   
<< You’re late >> he scolded her turning his back at her.   
Y/N’s cheeks got red and she lowered her eyes on her hands.   
<< My bad. I was informing her about Malia’s problem. Anyway, I leave you. Maria wants me to take care of some things. Stay out of trouble >> said Tommy smiling at Y/N as he went away.   
Y/N returned faintly the smile before she got on Scout and thanked Brody for the help.   
She turned her head to Joel, who passed near her without even looking at her. Y/N sighed and followed the man to the gate and then outside.   
For the first ten minutes, neither of them pronounced a word, even if Y/N wanted to start a conversation, but it seemed to her that the man wasn’t in the mood for it.   
However, she collected all her courage and spurring Scout she reached his side.   
Joel looked at her from the corner of his eyes and Y/N smiled at him. He didn’t return it and instead looked in front of him again.   
<< So…I haven’t seen you for a while >> said Y/N looking around.   
<< I was busy >> said the man after a moment of silence.   
<< Okay… >> replied Y/N lowly.   
<< By the way, thank you for that night. It was really rude of me falling asleep during the movie. I hope I haven’t offended you >> she said smiling at Joel who moved his eyes from her to the surroundings.   
<< Whatever I don’t care >> he replied in a monotonous tone.   
Y/N’s heart sank lower into her abdomen at the man’s cold words and she felt so stupid for what she had said.   
<< I see >> she whispered and got behind the man, not really paying attention if there were infected of other people or useful supplies.   
When they reached the first outpost, Joel went straight to sign in the book of signatures while Y/N went looking out of the window, noticing some bushes moving a few meters from where the building was.   
<< Wait, there’s something >> she said turning to look at Joel who was already writing that the place was clear.   
<< You sure it isn’t an animal? >> he asked looking at Y/N who huffed and sprinted out of the room, heading outside.   
The hell is wrong with him today? She asked herself while she headed to the bushes she saw moving from the window.   
When she was near enough, she took out her knife and carefully reached the bushes, hearing some noises from behind it.   
Y/N stretched a hand and slowly lowered some branches, reveling a clicker standing there, just a few inches from her.   
She took a deep breath and moved the branches even lower so she could reach the clicker, but one of them snapped causing the clicker to cry and fuss towards Y/N who stepped back and tried to reach her pistol.   
As she was going back, she didn’t see the root of one of the trees and tripped over it. She fell back first on the ground and her pistol flew from her grip.   
<< Uhh…fuck >> she groaned touching her head, but when she opened her eyes the clicker had reached her.   
Y/N used her forearm to keep the infected teeth away from her face, while with her other hand she tried to reach her knife, but the clicker was too strong, and she needed both hands to keep in away from her.   
She felt her strength running low while the clicker seemed too gained it and now its teeth were even closer to her throat.   
But then, a loud bang resounded in the air and the clicker fell on Y/N dead. She pushed it away from her just before she felt some strong hands dragging her on her feet.   
<< What the fuck were you thinking about?! >> yelled Joel at her face.   
<< I was… >> Y/N tried to say, but the man wasn’t listening to her.   
<< Trying to get killed yeah, I noticed that >> he scolded her.   
<< I was doing my duty. I didn’t see the root… >> said Y/N, trying to explain, but once again Joel shook his head and gave her a hard look.   
<< You had to wait for me >> he said, pressing on the last word.   
<< You didn’t believe me when I said there was something behind the bushes >> Y/N said frowning and stepping away from the man she crossed her arms on her chest.   
Joel stared at her for a moment before he took a deep breath as if he was trying to not snap at her.   
<< Next time you wait for me or it’ll be the last time you go out on patrol, you hear me? >> he threatened.   
Y/N couldn’t believe her ears. Was he serious? It wasn’t her fault, she just tripped on a fucking root, it wasn’t that she wasn’t able to protect herself. She wanted to tell him so, but in the end, she just lowered her eyes and nodded at the man.   
<< Let’s move on >> he said heading to the building.   
Y/N recovered her pistol from the ground and then followed Joel.   
They moved to the next outpost and the next and the next one. They didn’t meet anymore infected and instead collected some supplies they found a little here and there.   
That, without exchanging another word.   
Y/N couldn’t understand what was going on with the man. One day they’re like best friends and the other he wouldn’t talk to her and instead treated her like she was a stupid girl.   
But Y/N wasn’t. She was a woman and she had survived not to thank the man but thank herself, the only person she could always rely on.   
For the rest of their patrol, they scanned the surroundings from the window of the last outpost, until another unit showed up and they could get back to Jackson.   
When they arrived, they brought the horses to the stable, and when Y/N put Scout in his box, she turned and reached Joel.   
<< I’m sorry for today. You’re right I should’ve waited for you >> she said faintly smiling while playing with her hands.   
Joel glanced at her before he continued to remove the saddle from his horse.   
<< You have to be more careful >> he said with his usual cold tone.   
Y/N bit her tongue at his answer.   
<< Anyway, would you like to come over to my place tonight? We can do something together >> she offered smiling at the man.   
Joel shook his head without looking at her.   
<< I can’t, I’m busy >> he answered.  
<< Oh, okay…we can do tomorrow if you prefer… >> insisted Y/N.   
<< I think it’s better if we don’t see each other anymore >> Joel harshly interrupted her.   
Y/N’s eyes widened at his words while she felt her heart beating loudly and painfully against her chest. She started to feel uncomfortable like she had been the first days in Jackson.   
<< I…I totally understand, yeah…okay >> she shuttered lowering her eyes.   
And faintly smiling at Joel she turned her back at him and rushed away, feeling the corner of her eyes stinging. 

Two weeks had passed since Y/N had gone out on patrol with Joel and everyone could notice something wasn’t right with her.   
During those three months, Y/N had changed a lot especially in her attitude towards the other people. She was more confident and opened with them, and she had started to spend some time in the shed and in the pub, talking and dancing.   
But after that talk with Joel, everything had changed, and it seemed she had returned on the day she had arrived at Jackson. She didn’t show up around anymore, she always avoided conversations and spent a lot of time in her hut when she wasn’t working.   
Maria had talked to her, trying to discover what was going on, bringing up Joel. But Y/N always avoided talking about the man and instead she defended him by saying he had nothing to do with what was happening to her. She even denied something was wrong.  
But the woman didn’t believe her and after she had talked to her, she paid a visit to Joel as well.   
<< Maria. What are you doing here? >> asked the man when he opened the door.   
<< I have to talk to you about Y/N >> said the woman, cutting to the chase.   
Joel sighed and rubbed his forehead.   
<< Alright >> he answered, but did not open the door to let Maria in.   
He wanted a short conversation.   
<< Did you notice something strange with her lately? >> asked the woman crossing her arms on her chest.   
<< I haven’t seen her lately >> said the man shrugging and avoiding looking at the woman.   
<< Yeah, but did you tell her something? >> insisted Maria.   
<< I told her nothing >> Joel answered looking at the woman.   
Maria wasn’t stupid. She knew that whatever Y/N had was for Joel’s fault.   
<< Well, that nothing is causing Y/N to isolate herself. She barely eats and no one has talked to her since that patrol together >> inquired the woman.   
<< Are you suggesting it is my fault? >> said Joel frowning at her.   
<< I know you two were getting along and suddenly, you don’t talk anymore. Whatever happened, talk to her >> said the woman pointing her finger at him before she left.   
Joel sighed and then closed the door walking to the kitchen and thinking about Y/N, about the words he had said to her and about her expression and her glossy eyes as she bravely smiled at him before she ran away.   
She could have asked him why he had changed idea on her so suddenly, but she didn’t, and instead, she apologized with that sad, fake smile.   
He punched the counter and then rubbed his face shaking his head. He wanted her to get away from him so she wouldn’t have hoped on something that he knew it couldn’t be. But instead of pushing her away from him to avoid her suffering, it was exactly what he caused. 

It was six in the morning and Y/N was already wake. Not that she had slept that night, her mind was too full of thoughts to get any rest. So, she simply laid on her bed, waiting for the right time to get up and get ready to go to work.   
Since that talk with Maria, Y/N noticed that people were acting a little strange with her, and most of all, a lot of things had changed. For example, she hadn't been paired with Malia anymore, but with George. Not that Y/N didn’t like him, but that man didn’t let her do anything during the patrol, just sign the fucking book.   
If there were infected, he killed them. If there were people, he talked to them. If there were supplies, he took them. Y/N did nothing and if she tried to do anything on her own, George would have talked to Maria about her reckless attitude.   
Moreover, her shifts had been reduced so that she had to go out just twice a week and instead had to work more in town.   
But the problems weren’t only on patrol. Whatever work she had to do in town, it hadn’t to be too stressful, or heavy or tiring.   
In a few words: everyone treated Y/N like she was made out of glass, and she hated it.   
She was strong and capable, she wanted to help not pretending to do it.   
When she finished her job, Y/N kindly refused the offer to go to the party that was at the shed that night, and instead, she walked to her hut where she sat on the couch to watch a movie at which she wasn’t actually paying any attention.   
It was almost ten p.m. when she heard a knock at the door, so she forced herself off the couch and reached it.   
When she opened it, she found Tommy out of her door with a plate full of food from the party.   
<< I brought you some food. People have noticed you don’t eat much >> said the man looking at her and faintly smiled.   
<< Just because I prefer to eat in my hut >> Y/N answered taking the plate and walking to the couch where she sat again and left the plate on the coffee table in front of her.   
<< You’re thinner and you need your strength when out on patrol >> said Tommy reaching her on the couch.   
<< As if I do much when I go out. Why you paired me with George? >> whined Y/N rubbing her face.   
<< He’s very capable and careful >> said Tommy, but his eyes weren’t on Y/N anymore.   
It seemed to her that he was just repeating those words, but he didn’t believe them one second.   
<< Too careful. Anyway, I have to go to bed, tomorrow is my shift to go out >> said Y/N getting up and walking towards the door that she opened to invite Tommy to leave.   
<< Yeah, about that…your shifts have been canceled >> said the man rubbing his neck.   
Y/N closed the door and frowned at him.   
<< What? Why? >> she asked raising her voice.   
<< Just momentarily >> said Tommy ignoring her question and getting up.   
<< But why? >> Y/N asked again.   
Tommy sighed, tilting his head back.   
<< Tommy, what the hell is going on? >> she asked looking at the man.  
<< What you mean? >> asked the man frowning in turn.   
<< What you…are you serious? First, you pair me with George, then my shifts got reduced and now canceled. Not to mention the fact that everyone treats me like I’m a fucking idiot >> Y/N said with a decisive tone, but without yelling at the man.   
Tommy stared at her for a moment, taken aback from her sudden rage.   
<< Never heard you swear before >> he said amused.   
Y/N looked at the ground and shrugged.   
<< Sorry, for that >> she said lowly.   
<< No, you’re right. This situation is ridiculous >> Tommy said sitting back on the couch.   
He rubbed his face and shook his head thinking about something, Y/N was sure.   
<< So, you’re gonna tell me what’s happening? >> she asked again more politely.   
<< It’s Joel >> he said without looking at her.   
Y/N frowned, starting to go back and forth.   
<< What has Joel to do with all of this? >> she asked crossing her arms on her chest.   
Tommy sighed again exasperated and rubbed his eyes.   
<< He’s the one who’s stressing people around not to give you too much work. And it’s his fault if your shifts had been reduced and now canceled. Oh, and he was the one who wanted you with George after your incident with that clicker >> he explained looking at Y/N who frowned.   
<< It doesn’t make sense he…he told me he didn’t want anything to do with me >> she said,   
<< My brother’s an idiot. He tries to protect people, but most of the time he hurts them. It’s not his fault he just…can't deal with them or the feelings he has for them >> explained again Tommy.   
He lifted his eyes on Y/N noticing her face contracted in a thoughtful expression.   
Then, without saying anything, Y/N headed to the door and wore her shoes.   
<< Where are you going? >> asked Tommy, getting up from the couch.   
<< If what you’re telling me it’s true, then I need to talk with him >> said Y/N tidying the laces of her sneakers before she opened the door.   
She stopped for a moment and then turned again and walked towards Tommy, hugging him.  
The man’s eyes widened, and he awkwardly returned the hug.   
<< Thank you, Tommy >> said Y/N smiling at him before she headed to Joel’s house.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE!  
> So, I was laying on my bed the other day thinking about this little "experiment" and after writing the first four chapters, I decided to share it with you.   
> Hope you like it

Y/N stared at the door for a couple of minutes before she collected all her courage and knocked at the door, that opened soon after, revealing Joel.   
The man looked down at Y/N, stiffening right on his spot.   
<< Hi >> Y/N said making the man frowned.   
Joel was expecting her to say something, but "hi" wasn’t exactly on his list. So, he had to admit once more that the girl’s kindness and tranquility, confused and amused him.   
<< Can I talk to you? >> Y/N asked again more nervously and hastily.   
Joel sighed, lowering his head briefly before he nodded.   
<< Sure >> he said moving aside so that Y/N could get inside and once she did, she turned towards the man waiting for him to close the door.   
Joel slowly turned towards her and raised his eyes on the girl standing in front of him.   
<< Tommy told me about what you’re doing. About how you convinced Maria to reduce my shifts on patrol and about me pairing with George. And I also know you’ve been stressing around people to keep their breath on my neck >> Y/N said looking at the man who was staring back at her.   
Joel titled his head back and crossed his arms on his chest, giving Y/N a look.   
<< Is that so? >> he asked raising a brow.   
<< Yes, and I want to know why >> Y/N said, not abandoning her calm voice.   
The man frowned again and sighed.   
<< Why? >> he repeated, making Y/N huff.   
<< Stop fucking with me, Joel. You were the one who told me you didn’t give a shit. You were the one who told me it was better if we didn’t see each other anymore and I didn’t ask even if I wanted. I wanted to and I didn’t because I thought I had no right to do so. But apparently, you thought you had the right to interfere in my life. So, now I want you to explain to me what is going on >> Y/N said, her voice higher but not harsh.  
Joel diverted his eyes from her and sighed while Y/N waited for him to say something.   
<< I won’t interfere in your life anymore if that’s what you want >> he said not looking at her.   
Y/N huffed a bitter laugh and rubbed her forehead.   
<< What I want is to know what happened between us. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that offended you? Because if I did, I’m sorry >> she said walking closer to the man and looking into his eyes.   
Joel stared at her, his gaze sweeter.   
<< Don’t apologize, you don’t have any reason >> he said shaking his head.   
<< Then tell me why you closed up to me >> said Y/N lowly, still looking at him.   
Joel looked away, frowning and sighing. Y/N knew there was something going on with him and she wanted to know what that saw because she wanted to help him. Even if the man wouldn’t accept her help.   
<< I just want to understand >> she added stepping even closer to Joel who instead stepped back.   
<< There’s nothing to understand. Go home >> he said gesturing her to get out of his house.   
Y/N frowned, and she straightened her back, giving the man a challenging look.   
<< I’m not leaving until you answer me >> she stated.   
<< Okay, then. If you’re not leaving, I am >> said Joel turning towards the door.   
<< Don’t you dare turn your back at me, you coward >> Y/N said angrily pushing him by his back.   
Joel stopped and lowered his head, biting his tongue.   
<< What’s wrong with you? >> she added, now almost yelling at him.   
The man turned and looked right into Y/N eyes who noticed his hard look as if he wanted to kill her right at that moment.  
Y/N flinched when the man walked towards her with that threatening look, forcing her to step back until her back hit the wall.   
Joel’s arms leaned against the wall, trapping Y/N between them and she stretched her arm, putting a hand on his chest as if she wanted to push him away, but then she felt his heart racing behind his ribs.   
She looked up at him with wide eyes and Joel thought she was even more beautiful when so scared of him.   
<< You want to know what’s wrong with me? >> he whispered in a low voice and before Y/N could think of an answer, he kissed her.   
Y/N flinched, taken aback by the sudden intrusion of Joel’s tongue into her mouth. The kiss was sloppy and demanding and it was scaring Y/N even more so that she pushed Joel with all her strength, making him step back.   
He lowered his arms and looked defeated at the floor while Y/N panted and brought a hand to her lips, cleaning them from the man’s saliva.   
Y/N looked at him with wide eyes, before she realized why the man had acted so strangely lately.   
Her heart throbbed with joy, but she was so confused at that moment.   
Joel continued to stare at the floor, his expression so sad it made Y/N’s heart ache and she realized that those feelings she had developed for the last few months, were the same he had for her.   
So, she stepped closer to him, her hands reached his cheeks and her eyes searched for his, until he was forced to look at her.   
Then Y/N leaned closer and placed a cast kiss to the man’s lips whose eyes widened before he closed them. His arms moved to her waist as he kissed her back, pulling her closed to him until her front was flushed to his.   
Then, he pulled back, looking into her eyes. Her cheeks were red, and her lips swollen for all the kissing. Damn, he wanted her right there and then.   
Y/N moved her hand to his cheek again and he kissed it making her smile.   
They didn’t need words; they just knew what he would have happened next and Y/N was excited but at the same time she was nervous because it was her first time.   
Should she had to tell him? Did he know already?   
It didn’t matter though, because Joel would never hurt or rush her, and Y/N knew that. So, when he took her hand and led her to his room upstairs, she said nothing and just let him. 

*WARNING* -> smut ahead

The air in the room was hot and thick. The light coming from the street lightened the room just right so that Y/N could see Joel’s face as he penetrated her over and over.   
She was laying on her back, her legs opened for him, and her hands on his shoulders as she moaned loudly.   
Joel kissed her forehead and neck, reaching her nipples and sucking them, making Y/N gasp.   
<< You’re so tight >> he whispered in her ear making her shiver.   
He hid his face between her face and neck and sped up hitting her sweet spot over and over.   
Y/N’s legs curled up behind his back, pushing him even deeper as she moaned his name in his ear.   
Joel loved hearing it.   
But his legs had started to ache for the position they were, so he sat back, pulling Y/N on him.   
From this angle, he was even deeper, and she sighed as her eyes met his.   
Joel started to push from below while YN tried to meet his hips by grinding down on him.   
She was so close, and he knew it due to her loud moans that filled the room.   
For her first time, it was pretty good, she thought in a moment of clearness.   
Joel sped up even more, making Y/N gasp as she grabbed his shoulder and tilted back her head.   
He didn’t waste any time and kissed her throat, sucking on the tender skin covered by a veil of sweat.   
She smelled so good Joel was about to come right there and then. But he pushed his orgasm down and focused on her first.   
Then, she came so hard she shut her eyes and her back arched back to the bed, while Joel grabbed her hips and continued to pound inside her.   
Y/N’s legs shook violently as she grabbed the headboard so hard her knuckles went white.   
He moved over her and kissed her lips softly while still moving inside her.   
Y/N opened her eyes to look at him while her hands reached his hair at the base of his neck, playing with it.  
<< You okay? >> Joel asked with a hoarse voice.   
<< Never better >> she managed to answer with a sigh.   
<< How close are you? >> she asked then.   
<< Almost done >> he said kissing her jawline.   
<< Alright, go on >> she said kissing his cheek.   
Joel sped up again, looking at Y/N as her mouth formed a “o” and her eyes rolled back due to the overstimulation.   
He’d like to fuck that pretty mouth of hers, but at that moment, he was too focused on the feeling of her walls squeezing him tight.  
He started to feel the orgasm back up again, so he leaned his forehead against her neck again and kissed the skin there.   
It was a moment and Y/N felt something hot, dripping from her entrance on her tights and the bed below.   
Joel was breathing deeply near her ear and when he raised his head, she lazily smiled at him.  
He kissed her deeply and slowly, savoring her taste as she closed her eyes tired and responded weakly.   
Joel moved beside her, pulling her close to him and stroking her back while Y/N closed her eyes and nuzzled against his chest.   
<< I’m sorry for having pushed you away >> he whispered while caressing her hair.   
<< It’s alright >> she said smiling at him while playing with the salt and pepper hair on his chest.   
<< I mean it >> she added looking into the man’s eyes.   
Joel smiled back at her and kissed her forehead.   
<< Should I leave? >> Y/N asked, genuinely concerned that he wanted her to.   
<< Don’t you dare >> he said giving her a threatening look, but then smiled as her cheeks got warmer than before.   
Joel watched her as she slowly fell asleep in his arms and he couldn’t stop kissing her lightly wherever he could reach until, he as well, fell asleep. 

(More smut...)

Joel was the first one to wake up and for a moment he thought he had had the best dream of his life, that until he turned his head and saw Y/N lying next to him.   
It was the first light of the day and during the night Y/N had moved away from him, turning on her right so that her naked back was turned to him.   
The white sheets covered her from her bottom to her feet and Joel observed as her back raised at her every breath.   
He shifted closer to her, kissing her naked shoulder making Y/N squirm in her sleep. He chuckled moving her hair away and kissing her neck and then her cheek.   
Y/N moaned in her sleep and the sound traveled right to Joel’s groin, giving it a jolt of life that made the man squirm as a weak idea went through his mind.   
He shifted even further, reaching her side and putting a hand over her soft stomach, brushing her under-breast with his thumb.   
He started to kiss at the crook of her neck, sucking gently on the warm and soft skin there making Y/N moan again.   
Joel moved his other hand from her stomach to her rear until his middle finger brushed her core, making her squirm and open her eyes.   
<< Joel, what…? >> she asked turning her head slightly.   
<< Ssh…go back to sleep >> he answered kissing her shoulder.   
Y/N’s head crushed again onto the pillow; her eyes were closed but her heart was thumping against her ribs.   
Joel's hand flicked again, and in a smooth movement, he inserted two fingers in her sore core, making Y/N moan out loud.   
<< You like it? >> asked Joel with a hoarse voice and Y/N nodded at him, squeezing the pillow.   
He took out his fingers when he started to feel Y/N wet them and with the same hand he moved her thigh a little forward on the bed so that she was totally exposed to him; the sheets already gone, fallen on the ground.   
Y/N looked over her shoulder as Joel moved even closer to her and slowly and painfully entered her making her groan against the pillow.   
Joel moved over her, covering as much as he could while his hands gripped her waist. He groaned in her ear and squeezed his eyes shut when he began to move inside her.   
Y/N moans raised and soon the room was filled by them as she arched her back exposing herself even more to the man.   
Joel grunts and moans soon joined hers and when the man started to feel himself reach his peak, he stretched a hand and stroke Y/N’s clit making her gasp for air.   
She came shuddering violently and soon after he joined her crushing over her and kissing her shoulder and back.   
<< Morning >> he said lowly in her ear making her chuckle.   
<< I’m hungry >> Y/N answered.   
<< Gonna prepare breakfast soon >> replied Joel kissing all along her spine.   
God, her skin was so soft.   
<< And then, we’re gonna go out on patrol >> added Joel making Y/N turn to look at him.  
The man smiled at her bewildered expression and soon after Y/N shift to kiss him softly.  
<< Just one condition >> said the man and she nodded at him.   
<< You’re gonna move in with me >> he said staring into her eyes.   
Y/N smile widened even more as tears of joy threatened to roll down her cheeks.   
<< Alright >> she answered before Joel pulled her for another kiss.


End file.
